Please stop!

Please, please, please stop saying “It could be worse”.

Stop saying it to yourself and absolutely stop saying it to other people.

I understand that majority of the time it is said with good intentions, but please stop and consider the following before you say these words in future.

It is essentially telling someone to stop feeling a certain way as their situation doesn’t deserve it. They should suppress their feelings and lighten up as someone out there is dealing with (by your opinion) a worse situation.

Not only is this person already feeling sad, possibly depressed, potentially suicidal, it has been decided that they are wrong in how they’re feeling. These few words that may not mean much to you could be the reason they don’t feel comfortable opening up to anyone again in future.

For example:

Your friend tells you that he is struggling mentally as he has been out of work for almost two months and feels like a failure as he isn’t supporting his family as he should be.

Your response:

Sorry to hear that. Just think of those who have been out of work for 6 months or a year. Or not able to find work due to incapacity. It could be worse mate, I’m sure you’ll be fine.

No no no. Absolutely no.

Your friend has taken a huge step to open up and tell you he is struggling with his mental health and that he feels like a failure. These are significant words that should not be ignored.

You are not expected to fix his situation or have the magical solution, however your responsibility as a human being and as his friend is to have him walk away from that conversation feeling more positive than he did to begin with. Tell him you understand and encourage him to keep speaking to you. You want him to feel encouraged to take action.

There are 24/7 Mental Health Services available to all of us, which I will attach to this article.

Encourage him to speak to his family, to a professional or to come to you once more where you will listen without judgement. Check in on him in a few days, a week and again as you feel necessary.

The exact same should be said for your own internal thoughts when you’re in a tough situation. Please express those feelings to someone, write them down, acknowledge them and deal with them in a healthy manner.

Do not put on a brave face, do not keep quiet and please absolutely do not tell yourself it could be worse. Your feelings are true and your situation should never be compared to someone else’s.

Thank you for reading and please reach out to me here if you are feeling alone or need a chat.

Writing to Breathe xo

mental-health-services-infographic-47ea1a.pdf

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